Whos a let down, raise your hand!
-raises hand-
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Entry: 1
I suppose since this is my first entry, I should explain some things, eh?
Okay, I'm 18, be 19 in a few weeks, woo.... >_>
I like emotes and smiles.... a lot -_-
I have a boyfriend
I work a job, that's not the hardest, but it's not the easiest
I can't get motivated to get into college, and I don't know why
I'm stuck.....
This really is the best way to describe how my life feels. Ever feel like your car is moving, but ain't going near fast enough? But at the same time, you're going too fast. No? Yeah, me either. But that's what my life feels like.
This time last year, exactly, ON THIS DAY LAST YEAR, I was graduating from high school. I was having a lovely party with my family, a nice dinner, a sleep over with my cousin, in my room, chatting about nothing really. I had a boyfriend, a different one than now, his name was Justin. From what I knew, all was well.... I just mean to say that my life back then seemed easy, and like everything was just starting, like I was about to inhale a huge and lovely fresh breath of air! :D Breath in- AAAAAAAND.................. it's like breathing in smog. I'm not sure where it all went down, but it did, and fast, becuase here I am, about to turn 19 and I'm where I was yesterday, oops, I mean 12 months ago...
I'm confused, what am I doing? Like, okay smartass, I know I'm typing a blog for no one to read, I get it, I mean more like "where's my life going?"
My life, my car, it's going no where, but the years are flying by. My life isn't moving fast enough, but the time is moving far too fast. I get that this is all my fault, "get up and go get your butt into school", "go do something" but it feels so hopeless.
Perhaps one thing you should know about me is that I'm very conflicting. I have two distinct sides inside of me, both of them hates the other.
So I'm like "Just get up and do it! Go sign your damn name on the registration form, boom, you're in" and the other is like "why? I'll fail out, I feel it, I can't handle college, I could barely handle high school, why bother?" then the other is like "stupid, because it's your future that you're flushing away?" and the other is like "future? I mean, like really? What future? Where's this whole train wreck headed that's so great I need to plan for it?" and so on and so forth.
Look, I promise I'm not "that whiny girl".... well actually I probably am that girl. Isn't that what this whole "blog" thing is about? Well fine then, that's what I'll do. All the complaining that I can't do into people's ears, I'll do on the internet.
Last thing you should know about this blog, if I know you, if we have relations and you happen to come across this, you have no right to judge me. I didn't "invite" you here, either you found out about it and asked, or by some random happenings, you literally found it out of the billion of other blogs on the web, but either way, do not comment on what a horrible person I am, how what I said hurts, how lazy, confusing, inconsiderate I am, I don't want to hear it, you have no right.
Also, my life concists of work and the internet, so pretty much that's all I'll be talking about. Don't complain that reading this is boring, try living it.....
Okay, I'm 18, be 19 in a few weeks, woo.... >_>
I like emotes and smiles.... a lot -_-
I have a boyfriend
I work a job, that's not the hardest, but it's not the easiest
I can't get motivated to get into college, and I don't know why
I'm stuck.....
This really is the best way to describe how my life feels. Ever feel like your car is moving, but ain't going near fast enough? But at the same time, you're going too fast. No? Yeah, me either. But that's what my life feels like.
This time last year, exactly, ON THIS DAY LAST YEAR, I was graduating from high school. I was having a lovely party with my family, a nice dinner, a sleep over with my cousin, in my room, chatting about nothing really. I had a boyfriend, a different one than now, his name was Justin. From what I knew, all was well.... I just mean to say that my life back then seemed easy, and like everything was just starting, like I was about to inhale a huge and lovely fresh breath of air! :D Breath in- AAAAAAAND.................. it's like breathing in smog. I'm not sure where it all went down, but it did, and fast, becuase here I am, about to turn 19 and I'm where I was yesterday, oops, I mean 12 months ago...
I'm confused, what am I doing? Like, okay smartass, I know I'm typing a blog for no one to read, I get it, I mean more like "where's my life going?"
My life, my car, it's going no where, but the years are flying by. My life isn't moving fast enough, but the time is moving far too fast. I get that this is all my fault, "get up and go get your butt into school", "go do something" but it feels so hopeless.
Perhaps one thing you should know about me is that I'm very conflicting. I have two distinct sides inside of me, both of them hates the other.
So I'm like "Just get up and do it! Go sign your damn name on the registration form, boom, you're in" and the other is like "why? I'll fail out, I feel it, I can't handle college, I could barely handle high school, why bother?" then the other is like "stupid, because it's your future that you're flushing away?" and the other is like "future? I mean, like really? What future? Where's this whole train wreck headed that's so great I need to plan for it?" and so on and so forth.
Look, I promise I'm not "that whiny girl".... well actually I probably am that girl. Isn't that what this whole "blog" thing is about? Well fine then, that's what I'll do. All the complaining that I can't do into people's ears, I'll do on the internet.
Last thing you should know about this blog, if I know you, if we have relations and you happen to come across this, you have no right to judge me. I didn't "invite" you here, either you found out about it and asked, or by some random happenings, you literally found it out of the billion of other blogs on the web, but either way, do not comment on what a horrible person I am, how what I said hurts, how lazy, confusing, inconsiderate I am, I don't want to hear it, you have no right.
Also, my life concists of work and the internet, so pretty much that's all I'll be talking about. Don't complain that reading this is boring, try living it.....
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